Going back to before I told 1.0 (the ex) to “get out”, I knew I was going to tell him eventually. It was just a matter of time. What would push me over the edge? I didn’t know how to do it, but I had every reason to do so. He cheated, he lied. He was not who I thought I married. None of his actions ceased.
I was scared out of my mind.
When you’ve been a stay-at-home mom for well over a decade, a homeschooling mom for part of it, and haven’t held a full time job for that length of time, it is almost impossible to re-enter the workforce. THIS is a huge reason why I was scared. I did have to provide for my family for months on end at one point after 1.0 lost his job, and it was hard. I knew it would be even harder, now that I hadn’t been working outside of the home for years.
This is the very unique position I see some moms in, and so this blog is for YOU. Stay-at-home mom re-enters the workforce….now a single, divorced mom. There is no instruction manual for us. So many of the resources I could ever find, assumed that the mom already had a career. Guess what? Not all of us fit into that mold!
My encouragement to you…step out in faith and work your butt off to make things happen! I am in the process of this right now. I found that because I had my bachelor’s degree, I was able to get a 3 year, substitute teaching permit here in WI. Granted, the pay isn’t attractive, but the hours are incredibly flexible so that if you need to be with your kids, you CAN. AND if you are lucky enough to get child support, you CAN get by. It CAN be done! If you want to know more about how to obtain that permit, leave a comment and I will help you.
My other word of encouragement to you is to find a church that will support you. I have a wonderful church body that has done so much for our family, that I would never be able to repay them. This isn’t just monetary, although that has helped tremendously, but this is also emotionally and physically. I am blessed with a pastor that checks in on me, friends that pray for me and provide counseling, and those that tuck a card in my hand as they’re walking out the door. They know our situation and do truly care.
I do have a side gig as a marketing/social media girl for a friend’s company and I am able to do that from home. It doesn’t pay much, but it’s something. I pray that this experience will help me grow professionally and I’ll be able to use that to further my career at some point. I only got that job because friends heard of my predicament and sought to help me.
I have learned to swallow my pride and ask for help sometimes. That marketing job….that happened because I was raw and real with my life and friends cared to help.
Ladies (or even men), there is NO SHAME in sharing your struggles with others. People are inherently good and want to help when they can.
Sleep well and say a prayer,